This weekend I helped my mom celebrate her birthday doing things she enjoys which works out great because I enjoy the same things and that makes for a great day.
So away we went, both kids packed up in the car and we drove off… The weather has been so rotten the last few days and today was no better. Cold temperatures, with a windchill no less and it was pouring rain. I still took the most scenic route possible to our destination because the colours of the leaves, waterfront views and just the overall peacefulness of the drive. I wasn’t sure if my mom would appreciate it as much as I had hoped because of the rain but it appeared as though she was really soaking it in.
While we shopped, the kids kept us distracted, mainly the four year old because you know, he’s a boy lol. However, there were moments in there where I could really focus on my mom while she held the baby or listening to the four year old telling his stories and in those moments I found myself truly appreciating her.
This comes after a few years of strain because we all cohabitated together. When the hubs and I moved out after buying our first home, my relationship with my mom was amazing. It’s still really good to this day and I’m so appreciative of her now, more than ever. It’s taken 31 years and two kids for me to really see my mom as a human being.
Kind of crazy. It’s like graduating high-school and the first time you see your favorite teacher. When you greet them with their proper name or abbreviated name like Mr. A…. And your teacher is all, my name is Chris. Lol. Ya ok, whatever you say Mr. A. Lol.
Anyways, long story short, it’s taken me 31 years to see my mom as a human being and not some super human who will always be around and knows everything. I’ve loved her through all the ups and downs all the same but now there’s a level of appreciation that I never had before.
Funny how having kids of your own changes your perspective on so many things and on so many levels.
Have a great weekend everyone 🙂
I can’t believe how much time has lapsed since I last wrote. I realize I just posted an entry, I had to get those thoughts out of my head before acknowledging the huge gap of time between that post and the previous one. Not much has changed since then. And by not much I mean, we bought a house, we have two children now and a second vehicle. So you know, life.
Anyways, my first born is now in full day Junior Kindergarten and absolutely loving it. I have to beg for a hug and kiss in the morning when dropping him off. Our second gem of a child is almost five months old and she’s stolen our hearts right out of her big brother’s hands. These kids…they make life so animated and colorful. It kind of makes me want more kids – or maybe it’s just my hormones?! HA! We’ll see about having another in about a year. Right now I’m focussing on the littlest and fiddling with some new hobbies. I’m sure I’ll get around to writing about them soon enough.
That’s all I wanted to say in this post. Life is good.
So recently I was faced with an uncomfortable situation. My painting partner couldn’t attend a Paintnite due to a conflicting work schedule. No biggie, right? I would just find someone to come along with me since the ticket was already paid for and enjoy a couple hours kid free. Except, that’s exactly what did not happen. I couldn’t have even paid someone to go with me that night. Totally circumstantial of course but it still stung.
So I did the somewhat unthinkable. I attended a social event alone. I certainly wasn’t going to let 2 tickets go to waste! I packed up my bag, said goodbye to my little family and ventured off….
It was really awkward to show up there alone, grab a drink alone and find a seat…alone. Once I sat down, everything was quite familiar; paint, brushes, paper towel and water. I’ve actually never painted on canvas before so having one in front of me was kinda daunting. I quickly realized that even if I had a painting buddy with me, we couldn’t have sat together, there were only single seats left at random tables. So I guess you could say it was meant to be.
After the workshop started and I was able to kind of do my own thing with the painting, I of course got hung up in my own thoughts….there was a lot of frustration, sadness and even some confusion. I was listening to all of the chatter around me and felt somewhat left out…even though in my heart I was feeling empowered. How many people would have let both of their tickets go – wasted, money thrown away because of the thought of being in public, participating in a social event, alone? Normally I would have…but I believe deep down I needed the quiet time. Time to paint. Time to express myself. Time to be speechless and basically be mute. I needed to be given that gift of time.
My painting is for my daughter and it’s so much more to me than the colors on the canvas. Maybe one day I’ll explain it to her and the importance it held for me that night. To be alone in a crowded room and work through my emotions and find peace.